Life is a circus. But not one of those precious circus shows you take your kids too. Life is a circus gone bad. The lions are out of the cage, the man who is supposed to breath fire is actually on fire (not in a good way… but in a panicked, freaking-the-mess-out kind of way.) The elephant is gone. How on earth do you lose a elephant? No one really knows. You know that attractive woman in the sequined outfit who is supposed to walk the tight-rope? Yeah, she fell.
And it is your job to fix it all.
Welcome to life. It’s your job to fix, address, and find all the things… at the same time.
Ok, I might be a tad be dramatic, but the feeling (the anxiety, the chaos) is exactly the same as everyday life.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom or not. If you have a full-time job or not. If you are the CEO or the intern. If you’re in college or if you are crushin’ it at your job.
For me personally, I have always been the same amount of stressed. When I was in college stressing over a test, that feeling was the exact same as holding my baby the first time he ever got sick. Sure, the sick son is WAY more important, but as a college student, I didn’t have him to put things in perspective. The test was my baby. A very sick baby who I feared I was about to fail. I was stressed.
I have always, always, always suffered from anxiety. When I say always, I mean it. Let me take you back to 1996. It was my very first formal spelling test in the first grade. The page was drenched in sweat from my trebling little hand. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about that little girl. That little girl was so hard on herself. (I think I need to add here, that my parents valued education VERY much, but I never once got punished for a bad a grade. Ever. I always received praise when I did well. I was hard on myself simply because that is how I am wired.)
That girl is now an adult. She is writing this right now as a wife for almost 5 years and a mom for almost 3. And the difference (as far as how I handle things) was very, very little from when I was in the first grade. I worry. I work harder than anyone around me. If I ever get sick, my best friend who knows me better than anyone reminds me to be kind to myself… I’m sick because I’m working too hard and my body can’t keep up.
Can you relate? Have you been there?
Y’all, let me be clear: I’m not talking about tragedies. A loss of a family member. A divorce. A horrible diagnosis. Those things that turn your world upside-down. I’m just talking about everyday struggles and stresses. The simple things that add up to the stress that might feel like you’re drowning.
In the last couple years, I’ve decided enough is enough. I love life way too much to be spending so much of it spread so thinly that when I lay down at night, my mind can’t rest because it’s trained to go 90-to-nothing all the time.
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be sharing exactly how I keep things together. Now, don’t go asking my husband if he gets a hot-cooked meal every night, please. He’ll laugh at you. By “together”, I mean how I juggle all of the things. How I have created my systems. How I try to be present at some times and work my rear off at others.
I can’t wait to share all the things with you in hopes that it may help you too!